The purpose of marriage is to add value. Marital relationship calls for adjustment; you learn to unlearn. You are to bear the burden of your lovely partner. Marriage puts responsibility on you.

You love, convert weakness to power. Marriage gives power. But you must be disciplined so as to rule over your power. What About Sex? Sex is created for husband and wife’s enjoyment. It is legitimate in a marital relationship. Sex outside marriage is a sin. It is a sin against yourself and God.

And God cannot be where sin is. Whatever you desire to attain in life, if God is not in it, you are opting for frustration, Let’s say your effort and intelligence help you to attain a height.

How do you maintain your success? Do you know to achieve is easier: compared to sustaining a success? Unless you’ve decided to be a slave to your achievement. This is why sinning against yourself and God is not the best choice. Your spouse’s desire for sex is not as high as yours, yes.

But try these steps: 1. Bring it out for discussion. Never shy away from it. Sex matter is a fire that could consume a house if not put off early. This type of discussion should be when the two of you are alone and relaxed. It is right to let your spouse know how you feel about your sex union with him/her. 2. Read books that address such issues e.g A guide to Successful Marriage by Albert Ellis, Ph.D & Robert A. Harper, Ph.D. Chapter 12 of that book treats “Excess Sex” in-depth. Also, check Pastor Bisi Adewale’s books on sex.

You can attend marriage seminars together. 3. Until you put your acquired knowledge to work, you are not likely to get a desired result just as the doctor’s prescription, alone, does not remove your aliment – you have to take the medicine as prescribed for a good result.

You should constantly, in love. work towards being at the same frequency. If your approach needs improvement, or maybe you are too early or delay in coming up, both of you should discuss it and jointly find a solution. Before I go further, let me address a very important issue.

Know This: Your Worst Enemy Is Yourself A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household. Mt 10:36. Your physical body is the house to your spirit and your soul. 1st Thessalonians 5:23. Every part of your body is the member of your household. E.g your eyes, nose, ears, hands, legs, toes etc.

Your sex organ is a part of your body. Your eyes that see, your mind/head that fantasizes images to cause you to desire sex, are all members of your body. And God says He has made you a ruler over them all. Ps 8:6. So you have no excuse, not even ignorance, to allow any of them to make you sin.

You must exercise your dominion over these members and be in control, say No! Lust’s the route to hell. Still on the solution to our main question.

You can lift your spouse up in prayers. I can hear you say “Ah! Pastor! What has prayer got to do with sex matter?” A lot my dear. God says “Call to me and I will answer you. God did not specify as per what to call Him on. (Jer. 33:3). Jesus Christ says “Ask and it will be given to you – Matthew 7:7. Jesus also says “And I will do whatever you ask in my name.” (John 14:13).

Do you now see that there is nothing we cannot bring before Our Lord and Saviour as a request ? No limitation please! So, you can prayerfully bring your excess sex desire under control.

And if you want it to increase, follow the same process. What God wants for you is a home where there is peace and security. In my next column, I will write on the wrong way to resolve a critical issue like “Sex” in marriage. Until then, enjoy God’s blessing.