The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom says the word of wisdom. Likewise, submission to your husband is the beginning of pleasurable marriage for you.

The heavy burden and yoke you are battling with in your marriage is sometimes as a result of your lack of submission. Your mind is not in tune with his, so life becomes a pressure instead of pleasure.

Burdens like:

1. Going about policing your husband from falling into the hands of an intruder.

2. Your husband not providing for you and your children.

3. Lack of protection and respect from your husband’s relations and friends. Submission in the context of marriage is to agree with, accept or yield to an authority you believe in. This shows why it is crucial for a woman to choose a man she can respect and give in to his opinion.

4. Your husband not showing affection and care for your children.

5. Your husband rejecting your food. Lack of companionship

Are they not some results of lack of submission? Or what do you think?

When a man does not have or enjoy his wife’s submission, it is evident that his wife sees him as a second class person who does not deserve her. She has no respect or honour for his position as the head of the family.

The man’s self-confidence is affected. It is hard for such a man to stand for his right socially. He feels intimidated to confront life’s challenges. He will rather endure pain than to confront and overcome negative circumstances of life.

It puts limitations on man’s advancement in career, business and in the society. The confidence to go out and achieve has been eroded by the wife’s attitude. He feels insecure most times.

You can then ask a question: to what extent can a woman submit to her husband? To the extent of your agreeing with him. For, two cannot walk together unless they agree. This is why the issue of choosing right cannot be over-emphasized. It is a crucial aspect of marriage.

A Christian lady got married to a Muslim brother. Every attempt to make this sister see reasons that she may not be able to adjust totally to Muslim tenets fell on deaf ear.

The marriage ceremony was managed very well by the two sides and they were all happy. No sooner a baby boy arrived. Amidst the joy and celebration, a day to the naming ceremony, a group arrived from the husband’s mosque who were to shave the new born baby’s hair. The sister resisted them. She insisted nobody would shave her son’s hair in the absence of her husband. The brothers patiently waited until the arrival of her husband. This sister was shocked when her husband asked her “what right have you to stop my brothers from doing the right thing for my son?” The sister said “but you know my religion does not do this, why do you want to shave my son’s hair?” The husband replied, “I am the father and I have the final say. When I was born, my parents shaved my hair for my naming ceremony and so I want it done for my son.” The wife tried in vain to prevent her son’s hair from being shaved; the husband prevailed over her. He handed over the child to the Imam and a fight ensued. Along the line, the lady was rushed to the hospital. She was in the hospital while her son was named. Although the husband regretted what happed but the deed had been done.

My conclusion is that a wife is better, when it comes to religious matters, to embrace the husband’s faith. There is a saying that a woman has no religion but her husband’s faith. The more reason you have to consider many things/issues before your final ‘YES”.

Most men feel humiliated when the wife shows a little trace of insubordination. It reduces their worth and is painful to the marrow. God knows the importance, that is why He commands the wife to submit and for the man to love.

Although God says a woman should submit to her husband in all things but there are areas where we need to consider and do a rethink.

a. When a husband asks the wife to go and steal or prostitute for survival, the wife must think twice.

b. A man who shows love and affection only if you get him money to feed his ego. He cares less how you come about the money. That is a ‘USER’. You are living with your worst enemy. He is not your husband, you have made a wrong choice.

c. Faith or belief is an individual thing. It is better to marry a man of the same faith as yours. If your husband embraces traditional worship, that is a serious matter. You will need to turn to the word of God. Pitch your tent with the word of God, for He has all it takes to protect and preserve you.

And in my opinion, God will not be angry with you if you refuse to submit to your husband who wants you to follow him in worshiping idol or going to appease Ifa or Songo (god of thunder). God warns every believer not to worship lesser gods but HIM. It is a serious sin. The Psalmist says, the sorrow of those who follow other gods shall multiply. Unless in a situation where both of you have no fixed address as far as faith is concerned. In that case, your husband’s religion becomes yours. Or when he permits you to choose your own.

d. Another dicey situation is when your husband asks you to go and meet another man for favour on his behalf. Do not give in to this. It means he can exchange you for anything. Your value is not as important to him. But you can value yourself by refusing his proposition.

e. Many women are victims of such gestures are living with the wound today. It will be too bad to discover that your husband is an armed robber, a ritual killer, drug addict, impotent, homosexual, a swindler etc,. These are very difficult situations to find yourself. You would need to keep it secret. Call on God to rescue you. Pray the kingdom of God into his heart and chase out the wicked spirit tormenting him. Let him know you love him, but you hate that negative spirit residing in him. I do not see you following him to perpetrate evil as submission; that would be going against the law of the land. Shame and mockery shall be far from you in the name of Jesus.

The wife’s submission to her husband is a catalyst:

i. That will accelerate the husband’s progress in life.

ii. It will strengthen the cord of unity, love and harmony to reign in their home.

Submission is the vein that holds the head in place for the neck to enjoy peace and relevance. A real wife must go for submission with a man of genuine love. That is real enjoyment.

Your reaction is welcomed.

NOTE: Read more on UNITY in my next column. Keep a date.