When you are confronted with discrimination and criticism in your marriage, the steps to take are:

1. Quit the marriage before it smears not only you but your children because it could be that bad or,

2. Prepare your mind to pay for your error.

As a wise man said, though you are free to make your choice, you have no choice in choosing the consequence of what you have chosen. Whichever, the choice is yours. If you discover an error of judgment has been committed, then decide to right your wrong through sacrifice which is fine. The first choice would have been ideal but it is going against the word of God. As much as God hates divorce, he also hates disobedience. It is better to obey God; who has the power and the right technique to position you in life.

The second option is what I will talk on for I have seen and heard people who prevailed in such marriage and stood tall at the end of it all.

Life Is a Battle Field

Life is not a fanfare but warfare. This is established in the word of God. Psalm 74:20, 1 John 5:19. God told Moses that He had given him the land but he would have to contend for it (Deut 2:24). The wall of Jericho did not just fall for Israelites to occupy Canaan; they fought the battle of mockery, walking round the wall for seven days, without gun or physical confrontation. Isaac defeated the Philistines not by confronting them but by focusing on what he was asked to do: obedience to instructions. Sarah Bathsheba prevailed, she became the joyful mother of Solomon; an adulterer became the first known mother of a king who reigned in her own office in style. She maintained a close relationship with men of God. Jehoshaphat won the war against three kings not by using their type of weapons. God gave him a unique weapon for the hour.

No matter your error or battle, you emerge a winner when God is for you. Romans 8:31.

MY EXPERIENCE

After the naming ceremony of our first daughter, a woman came to congratulate me. As we were discussing, she chipped in this brief comment about men and people from my husband’s side.

1. She said they are difficult people to please.

2. The people are hostile to strangers as far as marriage is concerned. She gave me examples.

3. She said they equally had powerful herbalists in their towns.

4. She said most of their men are handsome and they womanize, you cannot hold them. She concluded saying: “you should” know what you are up against. And finally pray that God would see you through.

Honestly, I was scared at heart! I just managed myself for the woman to leave. Negative pictures were coming to my mind of what could happen to me and what I should do to protect myself. I found out how exposed and weak I was; just as anyone in my shoes will feel.

In a situation like this, panic, and your own understanding will fail, but the word you have puts you over. I remember the moral that says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And being faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you cannot bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up over it. With this word, I regained my peace. Every war is conquerable with God, for He is faithful to provide a way of escape. For example, I have seen people win their enemies by their relationship with God. They decided to seek God, the lord over the universe for enduring and peaceful solution to what they were confronted with. God says if they obey and serve Him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and years in pleasure; the solution is to obey and serve God. Isaiah 51:2 says “Look to Abraham, your father, and to Sarah, who gave you birth.” Abraham trusted, sought and obeyed God in all, Sarah and her husband remained one.

The cord of love and utility between Abraham and Sarah was so strong that Hagar’s sharp knife, -the son, Ishmael – could not cut through. They remained in love till their promised child arrived at old age.

Peninnah’s provocation could not erode Elkannah’s love for Hannah till God decorated her with Samuel and shut the mouth of people. I realized God was who to seek; I simply committed our marriage unto Him for preservation. I was determined to follow the examples I had been shown in the Bible, the life manual. Three cord strands are not easily broken says the word of Ecclesiastes 4:12. I discovered this to be true. Also for my husband’s people to love me, God showed me the “golden rule” in the book of Matthew 7:12 “so in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Light came for me through this verse and I had my peace.

I made up my mind to show love to people, not only my husband’s relations. At different phases of our marriage, we have shown people love. And now, our testimony is “we have the conviction that the son of God, Jesus, has come and has given us understanding, as to know Him who is true, God. And we are in Him who is true – and the evil one cannot harm us. Hallelujah!

Solution to Rejection

1. Be of good behavior/character.

2. Apply the golden rule. (Matthew 7:12).

3. Make the choice to obey and serve God. Then see yourself and your children possessing the gate of your enemies.

There is no incurable disease in God’s kingdom. Enjoy your marriage!

Your character speaks volumes. You cannot fake it. If you cannot control the blood of hatred flowing in your veins, you will lose out in the battle against rejection.

An intolerant, hostile, haughty, too quiet, hard looking person will  most of the time find himself/herself in a wrong marriage. Why? Because of his/her character. Self cent redness, unforgiving spirit, negative mindset – all these make you predict doom for your marriage and then you see yourself working or behaving your prophesy and mindset.

Nobody else but you are the one working against yourself. Many women are out of marriage today because of their negative morals while so many men are always in and out of marriage because they lack the right attitude for building a stable marriage.

Your good character, your will to be responsible is the visa through which you break the wall of critics against you.

A wife who is always moody will drive away visitors from her home. No mother-nlaw or sister-inlaw will love such a wife. In such a situation, the mother of the house hardly smiles. She is always too serious (In my opinion, I want to think it is all tactics to keep people away from her home). Her face is friendly when her people are around. That is evil. Marriage does not say the woman should drive her husband’s people away. If you show love, it is a question of time. Your critics’ heart must melt. When you project hatred, they also will give you back the same. You just have to be of good character. If not for you, then for the sake of your children so that the rejection would not continue.

As you are adjusting your character, see to it that your business or career brings wealth to your family. Financial freedom with the grace of giving (generosity) will quench the fire of hatred and rejection against you. Or you may want to consider yet another approach?

It is advisable that no matter how far or fast you are on a wrong route, you just have to turn back and take the right and correct route to your desired destination.

If by error of judgment, you are in a wrong marriage, you have to make certain adjustments to correct things.

Why? If you miss choosing the right partner in marriage, your achievement in life would be affected. There is every tendency for your glorious destiny to be corrupt. Or you want to try divorce? Ehhh! Divorce is a bad solution. But where your partner is not cooperating with you, it could be a way out. For two cannot walk together unless they agree. That will be a personal decision for individuals to make.

But remember, God says He hates divorce” Malachi 2 vs 15-16. The more reason it is better to look before you leap into marriage. There is no exit route. Once you enter, you are in for life.

In my opinion, in this twenty first century, you do not have to lose your life to save a bad marriage. You may need to run so as to fight another day if need be. You will have your conscience to settle with and then God, anyway, because you have disobeyed Him. Apostle Paul says “…work out your own salvation with  fear and trembling.”

The supremacy of God rules over the affairs of men. If you can settle with Him, who knows? God’s Word through Apostle Paul reads “Therefore, He has mercy on whom He wills” (Roman 9:18). (“He” here stands for God). After all, the prodigal son was accepted back by his father… So the ball is in your court.

Next, I am going to write on the permanent solution to rejection in marriage. Till then focus on your focus.

Open Invitation

There are steps God led me to take, which limited space will not give chance to put here. I invite you to my next marriage seminar at SADC building on Thursday 19th August. Time 10am prompt. There, we shall share all in full. Every crisis in your marriage has come to an end now in Jesus name. See you!

Rejection is known with hostility with the aim of sending you out. You are to endure all manners of pain, hatred, disgrace, lack of respect etc where you are not accepted. Being in a wrong marital relationship could be likened to living with a life threatening virus in your body. Or better still a terminal disease like Leukemia, Tuberculosis, Chronic asthma, etc. For any of these, your immune system is the target of such virus. It quietly eats up your body defense mechanism. It takes away the strength, courage an desire necessary for pursuing your set goals. It renders its victim impotent before the final judgment. An afflicted person, no matter the height he/she has attained before his affliction, he/she drops out of the race of life. It is like a fast moving, leading athlete. So it is with either man or woman who finds themselves trading in a volatile environment as far as marriage is concerned. A wrong marital partner is doing the right thing in a wrong environment.

Living in an environment where you are not accepted has no medical cure. You waste your resources on valueless ventures, it will task your intelligent, your creativety becomes dull and unproductive.

To survive in this type of environment calls for knowledge.

1. You will employ both the sense and revelation knowledge.

2. The cord of love and unity between the couple must be strengthened daily. For a house that is divided against itself shall not stand.

3. You have to develop a strong faith in your marriage with a lot of patience.

4. Find or set a goal that will add value to your life as a couple and pursue it with full concentration.

5. You cannot afford to pay evil for evil. It is painful though but for the sake of your marital success, overlook the petiness of the people. Be busy building a strong, progressive and prosperous future and family.

To reign in the midst of your enemy, you need to become a voice to listen to.

How?

You progressively grow in your career or business.

Financially, there must be consistent growth. Money with good character turns your enemy to your friend and sometimes a servant. Material acquisition is necessary as a weapon to neutralize your enemies’ strength.

The truth is: people who reject you, are constantly monitoring your progress. The best way to put out enemy’s fire is for you to enjoy consistent upward movement in life. No matter how little, each progress breaks the wall of your enemies against you.

All these could be achieved through sense knowledge and right living. But it does not come cheap.

There is still another approach to rejection. This will come your way next.

Till then focus on your focus.

The Psalmist says”O Lord, when you favoured me, you made my mountain stand firm…” That is our testimony. God’s favour stands us out. But when my husband and I made the choice of becoming an entrepreneur, publishing sports in Nigeria, if there is any other word for rejection, I think that could be appropriate for what we went through the first seven years.

My husband usually refers to those days as our time in the “University of hard knocks”. It was a wilderness experience for us. Our  experience? You would think you have seen the light out of darkness; most times, at the verge of break-through, something would happen to set us back. Supposed helpers turned away, there was loneliness – you become a land where no one is passing through.

There is wandering, desperately looking for a way out. Trying your hands on ideas that you think could help you out of the wilderness. Frustration, as a result of constant disappointment is a thing you endure in the wilderness. In all, I want to say wilderness experience is good if it lasts for a short period. It is not good for wilderness experience to be prolonged. Thank God, His right and mighty hand brought us out. (Halleluyah!).

So, it is possible to face rejection in your place of work, in your business, at the market and in the society at large. What is synonymous with rejection is: no matter how you brave it, it touches you with sharp pain in the heart, your adrenalin drops and your bones become weak.

So it is not much of different with marriage. As a rejected person, you can be likened to an outcast of whom no one cares. You are treated like a plague of leprosy. It is better not to experience it, for it leads to a waste of life if not well handled.

Is There A Cure For Rejection?

Medically, there is none. Knowledge is the cure, searching for the cause and patiently looking for the right solution or remedy. The most appropriate cure starts with your approach to the issue. It is not about what happened but your reaction to what has happened. There have been couples who chose to be far from their relations as a result of rejection and intimidation but I doubt if that is a lasting solution.

Do you want to quickly throw in the towel and call it quit? So soon? I want you to believe with me that every war is winnable and battles are conquerable if you can patiently, with little endurance, study your opponent’s source of strength and then tackle him or her.

I tell you, rejection in marriage has a cure. You shall find out soon. Till then focus on your focus.

Fighting against criticism or rejection has led to the demotion of a royal highness who failed to draw a line in resisting rejection. The maturity that comes as a result of knowledge and experience is the strong weapon with which you can fight and prevail over rejection.

Rejection is all over the place. At every facet of life, you could meet with rejection. It does not matter whether you are evil or good. The truth is that it is impossible to be in the good book of everybody. You are not created to be. I think rejection should propel us to be our best. For most successful people, they had sometimes faced rejection which many of them used as a ladder to the top. You need to passionately hold onto your vision and set goals.

The erroneous belief that female children are less important, and could achieve less has led to many women standing out to be the best today. In today’s world, a man without female children stands the chance of being left to himself in his old age.

In most cases, female children have the grace to look back with affection to care for their parents while some males are hooked up with their family, no thanks to wrong choice of marriage partner. Rejection is a dreaded and deadly affliction feared by all.

Rejection in marriage is when you are not accepted. A man or woman could be rejected by the inlaws. In our culture, there are people whose acceptance matters in marital relationships.

They are the mother to either the husband or wife; the aunties and sisters. It is rare to see a man fighting his daughter inlaw. Men usually overlook many things more than women.

When a mother detests his or her child’s choice of marriage, it is usually a war. They go all out to make life bitter for such a relationship, to prove their point.

Naturally, we all want people to think well of us. We desire to be admired, listened to, appreciated and respected. In a marriage where these quality desires are not, such relationships are facing rejection.

WHAT ARE THE LIKELY REASONS FOR REJECTION IN MARRIAGE?

If you know there are better options, you naturally want to reject anything less than better. Rejection in marriage may be as a result of your choice.

i. Somebody in your husband’s or wife’s family may have a design to get him or her a person of his or her choice as a suitor. Where you refuse his or her choice, that could lead to rejection or criticism for whoever your choice is.

ii. You may come from a background where they believe you should make your choice from your locality. If you bring an outsider, you and your choice may not be accepted.

The moment you go any of these route, be ready to face rejection. In another way, it is not of your own making. Your personality could be the reason for rejection. Your posture, character, voice, your set of teeth, the shape of your eyes or head, your legs, your opinion on issues could be the object of rejection.

In all, it is possible to discover what the reasons for rejection could be but sometimes there is little you can do to change what people are holding against you. For example, you can work on your character but think of your voice or the shape of your head or your colour. There is no way you can re-mould your head. Nor change your posture. It is late.

But is there a way out of rejection? Yes! That is what we shall discuss next. Till then, be yourself!

Know This: Your Worst Enemy Is Yourself

A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household. Mt 10:36. Your physical body is the house to your spirit and your soul. 1st Thessalonians 5:23. Every part of your body is the member of your household. E.g. your eyes, nose, ears, hands, legs, toes etc.

Your sex organ is a part of your body. Your eyes that see, your mind/head that fantasizes images to cause you to desire sex, are all members of your body. And God says He has made you a ruler over them all. Ps 8:6. So you have no excuse, not even ignorance, to allow any of them to make you sin. You must exercise your dominion over these members and be in control,  say No! Lust’s the route to hell.

Meanwhile, extra marital affair is an ego thing, it has no sexual gratifications. It is a way of expressing rebellion against authority.

Why is sex emotion too difficult to control?

Read through an excerpt from Dr. Albert’s book, “A Guide to Successful Marriage”. The author explains that there are no biological, instinctive heterosexual or homosexual drives as far as can be scientifically determined. He further states that “there are merely undifferentiated biological drives, which are caused by the secretion of our sex hormones and nerves and tissues of the male and female sex organs. But these biological drives are non-directional; and humans only learn to direct them into certain channels such as masturbation, heterosexuality, homosexuality as a result of their experience and attitudes. No one is born homosexual or heterosexual; we all learn to be one or the other.”

I put these facts so that every entrepreneur who desires to enjoy his wealth in health should have control over his /her sexual urge.

Why do you need to control your compulsive sex desire? Your lack of positive direction for sex hormones and tissues:

1. It erodes your positive perceived value within your community.

ii It lowers people’s respect for your person no matter your status.

iii When you lack control over your sex urge, you put your life in danger, exposes you to avoidable attacks.

iv You create more enemies than friends. And you know what that means for your family and business.

v It leads to marital instability.

vi Your deceptive way of life causes men and women, even your children, not   to trust and be proud of you as  their parent.

vii You lose social dignity.

vii You lose favour with God. Sexual immorality is a sin against yourself and God. Until you repent of your wicked way, you cannot enjoy God’s own blessings. Although people may say you are wealthy but you will know you are the most poor in the world.

The way out: putting your flesh under control.

Ask the Holy Spirit to take control of your body, desire it. He will curb your excess.

God says if you will obey and serve him, accepting instructions from him and put his words in your heart, remove sin from your tent, your body, which is meant to be God’s temple, then He will be your gold and the choicest silver.  He will enthrone you with kings and exalt you there.

Also, you will spend the rest of your days in prosperity and your years in contentment. Putting your excess sex desire under control will help you not to labour for another person to enjoy or build houses or wealth without peace and fulfillment. Tame that little fire for it not to consume you, you are able. Divine lifting is yours.

His business started having problems when he started receiving multiple complaints, followed by a slow-down in patronage. He quickly changed into transportation business. He started that with two big buses for the city and then three small buses for interstate. Within eighteen months, the transport business projection began to fall into negative cash flow; problem sets in as the outstandings in banks were not being serviced as they should be. The last straw was the death of his first daughter, a graduate. A lot of money was spent in order to get the lady out of her undiagnosed ailment.

In his effort to get spiritual help out of his problem, he was told he had married a wrong woman, who was more powerful than he was. And if care was not taken, it would be a case of giving pearls to a swine – it would trample upon the gold and come back to hurt you. When this troubled man was asked the reason for four wives and two mistresses, he said since his childhood days, he had the picture of having many children around him. He desired to have wives. Each wife would give him at least four children. He lastly said he loved to have sex with different women. And moreover, he discovered that one woman could not have all the good traits that attracted him to the opposite sex. He made up his mind to work hard and smart as to make money, become wealthy so as to be in control of his family.

As you can see, nothing stopped him from achieving his desire or plans but definitely the result or the consequence of his dream was not as he desired. The man’s erroneous notion put him in hardship. He is today living at the mercy of people: more or less a beggar, living in the shadow of his past.

Napoleon Hill of blessed memory in his book “Think and Grow Rich” says whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe in, the mind of man can achieve.

This our once-upon-a-time successful entrepreneur achieved what he conceived in his mind. But he failed to think through the possible flaws or consequences of having many wives.

From this story, the man said it is not possible to get everything a man desires from a woman. Don’t you agree with him? I agree with that statement. Likewise a woman cannot get everything she loves from her husband. That is why some women today, despite their husband’s status, wealth and power, still look out for other men. Height could be the reason, voice, broad shoulder, eye-lashes, good set of teeth etc. Such women confides in friends: “you know I experience full satisfaction and orgasm with my husband but I just like to taste a man that has this or that trait that I like”. That is demon talking! These are some of the things our society is living with today.

Getting married to your choice husband, in my opinion, does not mean the person is perfect. But you’ve decided to enjoy his/her perfection, and adjust to live with his/her imperfection in love. Not in murmuring.  We shall be perfect in heaven when Jesus becomes our husband.

Most individuals are disturbed at the way they consistently fall victim of compulsive sex desires.

CONFESSIONS

A twenty-five year old married man put it this way: “I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. I get along with my wife fine in bed”. Another man said: “I have tried without success to put an end to this temptation, I love my wife.”

It is a fact that more healthy married men, no matter how happily married, frequently lust after other women than their wives. There is nothing abnormal about their lust. But their lack of control leads to self defeat and unwisely giving in to this lust. It is also a fact that where male or female is healthy, the sex drives tend to have their own automatic controls and are very difficult to abuse.

Sex, when enjoyed up to the limit of individual capacity, is one of the most harmless, beneficial and healthiest of human activities.

You love, convert weakness to power. Marriage gives power. But you must be disciplined so as to rule over your power. What About Sex? Sex is created for husband and wife’s enjoyment. It is legitimate in a marital relationship. Sex outside marriage is a sin. It is a sin against yourself and God.

And God cannot be where sin is. Whatever you desire to attain in life, if God is not in it, you are opting for frustration, Let’s say your effort and intelligence help you to attain a height.

How do you maintain your success? Do you know to achieve is easier: compared to sustaining a success? Unless you’ve decided to be a slave to your achievement. This is why sinning against yourself and God is not the best choice. Your spouse’s desire for sex is not as high as yours, yes.

But try these steps: 1. Bring it out for discussion. Never shy away from it. Sex matter is a fire that could consume a house if not put off early. This type of discussion should be when the two of you are alone and relaxed. It is right to let your spouse know how you feel about your sex union with him/her. 2. Read books that address such issues e.g A guide to Successful Marriage by Albert Ellis, Ph.D & Robert A. Harper, Ph.D. Chapter 12 of that book treats “Excess Sex” in-depth. Also, check Pastor Bisi Adewale’s books on sex.

You can attend marriage seminars together. 3. Until you put your acquired knowledge to work, you are not likely to get a desired result just as the doctor’s prescription, alone, does not remove your aliment – you have to take the medicine as prescribed for a good result.

You should constantly, in love. work towards being at the same frequency. If your approach needs improvement, or maybe you are too early or delay in coming up, both of you should discuss it and jointly find a solution. Before I go further, let me address a very important issue.

Know This: Your Worst Enemy Is Yourself A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household. Mt 10:36. Your physical body is the house to your spirit and your soul. 1st Thessalonians 5:23. Every part of your body is the member of your household. E.g your eyes, nose, ears, hands, legs, toes etc.

Your sex organ is a part of your body. Your eyes that see, your mind/head that fantasizes images to cause you to desire sex, are all members of your body. And God says He has made you a ruler over them all. Ps 8:6. So you have no excuse, not even ignorance, to allow any of them to make you sin.

You must exercise your dominion over these members and be in control, say No! Lust’s the route to hell. Still on the solution to our main question.

You can lift your spouse up in prayers. I can hear you say “Ah! Pastor! What has prayer got to do with sex matter?” A lot my dear. God says “Call to me and I will answer you. God did not specify as per what to call Him on. (Jer. 33:3). Jesus Christ says “Ask and it will be given to you – Matthew 7:7. Jesus also says “And I will do whatever you ask in my name.” (John 14:13).

Do you now see that there is nothing we cannot bring before Our Lord and Saviour as a request ? No limitation please! So, you can prayerfully bring your excess sex desire under control.

And if you want it to increase, follow the same process. What God wants for you is a home where there is peace and security. In my next column, I will write on the wrong way to resolve a critical issue like “Sex” in marriage. Until then, enjoy God’s blessing.

For that desired result of our kingship to come alive, there are instructions to follow. One of such instructions is whether you eat, or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God. With this admonition in the first book of Corinthians Chapter 10 verse thirty-one, anything done out of proportion leads to a disorder.

Unstable marital life is a minus to the success of an entrepreneur. This explains why ‘Home Front’ is a must read for every successful entrepreneur that our platform is raising and nurturing.

Sex in marriage is a tool, a natural endowment for our good but we must control it. Power is useless, it is living in hell to whoever cannot control it. Money and sexual urge are two powerful tools that successful entrepreneurs must learn to control. You are to control money, it must not control you.

You are his master. That is why you are creative. Most entrepreneurs are creative people. The desire for financial freedom is a propelling force that always keeps this special people dreaming, planning and preparing to take bold steps at creating wealth for themselves and others.

And so also for most of them, their desire for sex is high. Sex is for cooling down the nerves, to calm down their emotions and be refreshed to continue. This could not have been out of place, if most of these special people understand why and then be in charge. Lack of proper understanding of what is happening, is the reason for misdirection of the energy; and this has led many astray.

People who work under the sun, like the construction engineers, farmers in the farm, labourers etc most times demand for drinking water but they must drink enough for a time, and must not rush the process of drinking. Otherwise, it will lead to discomfort.

Uncontrollable coughing and sneezing could result. A thirsty person must drink as much as his stomach can take and stop. If not, he may end up in a hospital. For a creative entrepreneur, that is how you should control your sexual urge. The source of water must be ascertained and presented the right way.

An entrepreneur that values his/her life should not take satchel water just about anywhere. Sparkling clean, safe, bottled water is advisable if you want to enjoy the wealth you are creating.

As an entrepreneur, you should be mindful of what goes into your body. Why? Because a sick person, no matter your status, is out of the race of life; “health is wealth” is a true saying. So back to my point. Your desire for sex more often is not a disease or abnormal. It is natural and probably your phase of life or your age.

But you must work to control it. Apostle Paul says put your flesh under the control of your spirit. Going about town, splashing your water all over is the route to destruction. It means you are building wealth for others to enjoy. A way to hell is what the devil is showing you.

You cannot blame God for giving you the drive, your responsibility is to apply brake so as not to end up in an early grave. Apostle Paul says it is not good to burn, so get your own wife or husband! And work to be contented. You may ask: what if my spouse’s desire is not as high? Note: I shall provide answer to this pertinent question in my next column. Be blessed of the Lord.

Failure to adhere to instructions shows the student lacks discipline. And the examiner will not hesitate to fail such a student.

This type of scenario could be brought to bear on the issue of life as well as marriage. The manual for life, the Bible, has given us the instructions to follow so as to have a pleasurable marriage as God planned it. Lack of keeping to the demands put regrets and frustrations into marital relationships. It is not as if couples are not made for each other. Nor is it that they cannot work things out but failure to follow the prescription for joyful marriage brings a wedge inbetween.

Instruction To The Wife

The wife may have the greatest and most laudable ideas as far as home running and family matter are concerned, but God expects her to put her ideas at the feet of her husband for consideration. Let the husband bring the idea for discussion. And then decide the way to go with the idea. Wives are commanded to submit to their own husbands. Whether less educated, shorter, small in stature or status, younger or poorer, you made the choice. You marched to the altar amidst joy to be joined together, which signifies you agree with his person’s lifestyles and values. So, no excuse for lack of submission on your part. It is in the interest of the woman to submit to her husband. Why? Her husband is her shelter from storms and negative winds of life, as Isaiah 32:2 put it. A woman is more comfortable under the covering of her husband. So submit.

To The Man (Husband)

The summary of all that is expected from a man towards his wife is LOVE. A man who fails to love his wife as the commandment is, faces the punishment for the failure of such marriage.

The unfortunate situation is that some men find it difficult to love their wives. Such men do not love themselves either. How can he give what he has not? A man who does not love himself cannot love his wife. The extent to which you love yourself becomes a yardstick for measuring your love for others.

By the lifestyles and attitudes of a man, you will know whether he loves himself or not. Anything you do against your body shows you hate yourself.

A drunkard, smoker, thief, fornicator, homosexual, drug addict and the likes hate themselves. It is wrong to expect such a person to love anyone – for, he is going against God his Creator already. Anyone who can disregard God will show no love to anyone. The rest is pretence.

Why More Marriages Are In Trouble

Knowledge Deficiency: Hosea 6:4

Lack of knowledge will push a woman to choose a man with wrong lifestyles as a husband. It is also a fact that lack of knowledge makes a man hate himself by taking to  negative lifestyles. God says He will destroy anyone that destroys His temple; your body is the temple of God. It is expected of you to keep your body holy unto God.

Lack of Discipline: Success is not without a price and discipline is one of those prices you must pay for success. You have to deny yourself some certain pleasures. Nature will want you to enjoy instead of denying yourself but your desired success at a particular venture takes some comfort off you. You must endure the discomfort. Whatever your desire, there is a price tag. Pay the price and go home with satisfaction.

Is your Spouse Not Cooperating?

Take him/her to God in Prayer. The key to every heart is in His hand. God says “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26. Do not be anxious about the situation, hand your spouse’s heart to God, let Him Perform divine Surgery on him/her. Then see yourself having a new, divinely refurbished spouse of yours. Patiently and in love wait on God for His Intervention. He will surely come, He is more than able.

In conclusion

We are in the world of choices. No one will force you as to what your choice is but you will face the consequences. In my opinion, go for UNITaY; it’s your best choice.