Rejection in marriage, like leprosy or epilepsy, is not an incurable disease, which in this 21st century, has a remedy, provided you have the means to procure the right medication and the discipline it entails. As in my earlier articles, your good moral, positive progressive life and giving grace are the cure for rejection.

When you are confronted with discrimination and criticism in your marriage, the steps to take are:

1. Quit the marriage before it smears not only you but your children because it could be that bad or,

2. Prepare your mind to pay for your error.

As a wise man said, though you are free to make your choice, you have no choice in choosing the consequence of what you have chosen. Whichever, the choice is yours. If you discover an error of judgment has been committed, then decide to right your wrong through sacrifice which is fine. The first choice would have been ideal but it is going against the word of God. As much as God hates divorce, he also hates disobedience. It is better to obey God; who has the power and the right technique to position you in life.

The second option is what I will talk on for I have seen and heard people who prevailed in such marriage and stood tall at the end of it all.

Life Is a Battle Field

Life is not a fanfare but warfare. This is established in the word of God. Psalm 74:20, 1 John 5:19. God told Moses that He had given him the land but he would have to contend for it (Deut 2:24). The wall of Jericho did not just fall for Israelites to occupy Canaan; they fought the battle of mockery, walking round the wall for seven days, without gun or physical confrontation. Isaac defeated the Philistines not by confronting them but by focusing on what he was asked to do: obedience to instructions. Sarah Bathsheba prevailed, she became the joyful mother of Solomon; an adulterer became the first known mother of a king who reigned in her own office in style. She maintained a close relationship with men of God. Jehoshaphat won the war against three kings not by using their type of weapons. God gave him a unique weapon for the hour.

No matter your error or battle, you emerge a winner when God is for you. Romans 8:31.

MY EXPERIENCE

After the naming ceremony of our first daughter, a woman came to congratulate me. As we were discussing, she chipped in this brief comment about men and people from my husband’s side.

1. She said they are difficult people to please.

2. The people are hostile to strangers as far as marriage is concerned. She gave me examples.

3. She said they equally had powerful herbalists in their towns.

4. She said most of their men are handsome and they womanize, you cannot hold them. She concluded saying: “you should” know what you are up against. And finally pray that God would see you through.

Honestly, I was scared at heart! I just managed myself for the woman to leave. Negative pictures were coming to my mind of what could happen to me and what I should do to protect myself. I found out how exposed and weak I was; just as anyone in my shoes will feel.

In a situation like this, panic, and your own understanding will fail, but the word you have puts you over. I remember the moral that says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And being faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you cannot bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up over it. With this word, I regained my peace. Every war is conquerable with God, for He is faithful to provide a way of escape. For example, I have seen people win their enemies by their relationship with God. They decided to seek God, the lord over the universe for enduring and peaceful solution to what they were confronted with. God says if they obey and serve Him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and years in pleasure; the solution is to obey and serve God. Isaiah 51:2 says “Look to Abraham, your father, and to Sarah, who gave you birth.” Abraham trusted, sought and obeyed God in all, Sarah and her husband remained one.

The cord of love and utility between Abraham and Sarah was so strong that Hagar’s sharp knife, -the son, Ishmael – could not cut through. They remained in love till their promised child arrived at old age.

Peninnah’s provocation could not erode Elkannah’s love for Hannah till God decorated her with Samuel and shut the mouth of people. I realized God was who to seek; I simply committed our marriage unto Him for preservation. I was determined to follow the examples I had been shown in the Bible, the life manual. Three cord strands are not easily broken says the word of Ecclesiastes 4:12. I discovered this to be true. Also for my husband’s people to love me, God showed me the “golden rule” in the book of Matthew 7:12 “so in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Light came for me through this verse and I had my peace.

I made up my mind to show love to people, not only my husband’s relations. At different phases of our marriage, we have shown people love. And now, our testimony is “we have the conviction that the son of God, Jesus, has come and has given us understanding, as to know Him who is true, God. And we are in Him who is true – and the evil one cannot harm us. Hallelujah!

Solution to Rejection

1. Be of good behavior/character.

2. Apply the golden rule. (Matthew 7:12).

3. Make the choice to obey and serve God. Then see yourself and your children possessing the gate of your enemies.

There is no incurable disease in God’s kingdom. Enjoy your marriage!