Nigerian men are among the most God fearing, loving and affectionate of men on earth who are alive to their responsibilities. When Nigerian men come of age, they believe in having settled homes and working towards having good families. Majority of Nigerian men take pride in being married. I have observed that our men feel unfulfilled if their marriages are not going the way they desire. Forget about their all-is-well appearance, Nigerian men cherish good homes because that enhances their confidence.

Thanks to our fore-fathers that laid the foundation for good moral conduct and a good family system, the Nigerian men believe in good name rather than instant gratification.

Marriage entirely succeeds or fails because of the manner in which couples themselves relate to one another. Proper relationship in marriage begins with a proper motive for the marriage. Most marriages do not bring happiness, talk less of joy, because the contracting parties neither understand nor attempt to understand the force of thought, through the operation of which every word they speak, every act in which they engage, and every motive by which they are inspired to deal with each other, is picked up and woven into a web that entangles them or gives to them the rings of freedom through which they soar above all forms of unhappiness.

Role in this article means the effect, impact or function religion has on your marriage. There are two sides to a coin. There is good and bad side to most issues of life. What determines your perception of what you enjoy depends on your understanding of the subject, which is a result of your level of knowledge acquired, and your discipline to apply it correctly.

What is religion? The dictionary meaning says: one of the systems of faith that is based on belief in the existence of a particular god or gods; like Jewish religion, Christianity, Islam, and other world religions. It is the subjection of your faith, trust and pattern of life to the Supreme Being you believe in and your constant activities to show your allegiance.

In my last column, I enumerated the four kinds of conscience (You can get the edition to get details of this). In this edition, we are looking at how to get good, pure and Godly conscience. When you have the right conscience, all other things will be right.

It is an established fact that human beings are interdependent in nature. No one can be an island to himself or herself.

It is not possible to have it all as a family or an individual; there must be one or the other input that somebody will add to make your life whole. As it is; can we say life is an enterprise while the earth is the market where goods and services are being exchanged for blessings to go round?

Making requests is part of our day to day life activities. This is because we are created as inter-independent beings. No one has it all; even God who created heaven and earth does request from us certain things for Him to achieve some of His objectives. He says when you praise me, the earth shall yield its increase; praise is a request. In creating man, for example, He made a request for other Angels to join Him before the first man was created. “Let us make man in our own image, according to our likeness.” If we are God’s likeness, making a request is not a sin provided it is from a genuine heart.

“And the LORD said, “My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, for he is indeed flesh; yet his days shall be One Hundred and twenty years.” The Psalmist in describing the eternity of God says, “the days of our lives are Seventy years; and if by reason of strength, they are eighty ….”

Be it one hundred and twenty or seventy or eighty, the word of God stands for a human being to live on planet earth for at most one hundred and twenty (120) years and at least seventy years depending on individual make up or strength. Which means a major part of one’s life should be with their choice partner in marriage.

There is no way you can arrive at the right destination if you follow wrong a route. Until you trace you way back to choose the right path, you cannot get to your desired state. We continue with the Bolaji and Bolanle story:

My Request: At this point, Ps. 32:8 came to my mind again, which says, “I (God) will teach and counsel you the way to go and watch over you.” Where do I go from here was the next question.

An argument ensued, as usual, between Bolanle and Bolaji who have been in marriage for about eight years. They have two boys because they both decided to hold it for now. Bolaji is a withholder, stingy in nature. He is fond of giving out money to his wife to go and buy mama put for him instead of giving pocket money.

He would eat without his wife and children or sometimes go to joints and eat. The wife dares not complain, else he will kick or rain abusive words on her. It is not as if he is poor or his business was in a bad shape. No, he just did not feel good caring for her.

Financial Freedom is the desire of many as good marital life. The two are essentials of life, and the two are interwoven for anyone who will journey into them. It is not possible to attain financial freedom and good marriage overnight.

You have to go through the process of building. Though the material for building are almost the same (care must be taken as how you mix and apply the materials). Among the materials for both are: A burning desire to do good, which will show you the route you should follow. The determination to succeed against all odds, with  discipline and focus, along with power, strength, energy, persistent, wisdom, understanding, knowledge, good moral, positive mindset, consideration; applying the golden rule and also your relationship with God; for life is complex and you must be smart to play it. Since Money and women are most men’s obsession, only  divine leading can help you through.