Favoured Child: Do You Have One? (Part 2)
It is an established fact that there are fathers and mothers who have a favourite child among their children. It is not as if it is bad to do so, it is natural, as it happened in the case of Isaac and Rebekah for Esau and Jacob. The same happened to Jacob in the case of his loved child, Joseph. The bad aspect of this type of close affinity with other children and sometimes one’s spouse is when it becomes a family divisor.
For example:
(1) When a spouse spends much time with the child neglecting others.
(2) Gives priority to such child over others.
(3) Rates the child as the best.
(4) Such a child can do nothing wrong; sacred cow of a child. In all you demonstrate to show others your special interest.
This is a common occurrence in many homes, where a father or mother despises their own children. It is the foolishness of a man to put his daughter or son above their mother. Surely, you will die before your time and that wife will own the children at last. It is vice versa anyway.
Favourite Child Syndrome
It is a state where parent’s weakness and ignorance are being exposed. It is not only a foolish woman that scatters her house, a foolish man equally does. Anyone who engages in this wicked and ignorant game has by him/herself destroyed not only the peace of their life and home but the unity of such a family becomes dicey.
Jesus Christ says a house that is divided against itself cannot stand, which is the word of truth. Jesus our Lord and Saviour knows it all to have said so. Looking at such a home and family, true love is dead between parents and children which spells doom.
No matter your excuse, showing that you love for any of your children more than the father or mother or other of your children is the beginning of insanity. That is the foundation for pretence as a lifestyle; make belief becomes the order of things in such a house. It is a state where somebody thinks he/she is in-charge and can do what pleases him/her without consideration for others.
Talk of Benefits?
Somebody has decided to trade the peace, joy and unity of his/her family with the devil. And the reward for trading such vital articles to the devil is hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness, unending crisis, jealousy, envy etc.
The person who starts favoritism has sent the spirit of God out of the family. Usually, when the devil is in control, there is bound to be crisis. Initially, it may seem okay with the perpetrator but soon it will dawn on him/her what evil he/she has wrought. In such a situation, the person may either repent or perpetrate more havoc; scatter the family the more.
A man once told me how he by himself destroyed the unity of his family. He loved his first son to a fault. The wife warned and pleaded with him to stop putting other children especially female down before their first son, but the man refused to see reason. Other children grew under such unfriendly atmosphere, living in their father’s house like outcasts. The problem now is that the first son has become useless to himself and a shame to the father. The man said, the boy is now a terror, terrorizing him. Already he has no respect for his sisters and a brother and badly enough, no regard for the mother whom he has turned into a punching bag.
The son has become so materialistic without a stable means of livelihood. He depends on his father for whatever. He has grown up to be irresponsible. The man said looking back, the mistake of his life was to have told the boy that everything he had belonged to him. He is going to share for the rest of the family whatever he pleased. This fact entered into the boy’s consciousness and turned him against everybody. Now he is wanting the father to die so that he can own the houses and other valuables the father has, instead of him tending and building his own wealth. A well to do man, a British trained doctor at his retirement has no peace or security. He said he is afraid of his own son. He confesses he has regret over his past actions as far as his relationship with other children is concerned.
The Truth
Whatever may be your reason for loving a child more, parents should be able to manage such a situation without hurting or creating enmity among the children. For every action, a seed is planted and must bring harvest.
Since ignorance is no excuse for our errors or mistakes as not to face the consequences of our actions, care must then be taken as per what we do today in our relationships.
As favouring one child among children goes, it leaves a bitter taste in people and the wound does not heal easily. Many children die before their time. Many glorious destinies have been hampered as a result. Family trees dry up suddenly leaving pain and sorrow.
Solution
Genuine repentance is the first step. Recognize your wrong approach and humbly ask God to forgive you and then make up with your family members. Plead genuine regret with all of them and by your action let them know you are a changed person. Then invite God into the situation.
Though you will have to go an extra mile to make your people believe your genuineness, make every effort so that bad book s will not be opened for you at your old age. You may be everywhere today with all the means but a time is coming when you will need people and not wealth. Can your children stand around you with joy? Answer the question by yourself.
Favouritism is a destroyer of love and unity in a home. Fight against disunity among your children now that you are still able. There is power and strength in Unity.
